Newton Decodes Bible and Discovers world will end in 2060 AD!!!

If there was ANYONE who would know the date of the end of the world it would be Sir Isaac Newton. I mean c'mon the guy discovered gravity and motion, how the earth works...and more recently, won't work because it will soon cease to exist! Recently exhibited for the first time in Jerusalem are his super elusive notes explaining his predictions. (See below.)

In addition to being a science wiz the guy was an Old Testament Bible nerd and spent most of his time decoding the it for the most part of his last 55 years on earth....which also happens to be the EXACT amount of time we "the living" have left! ... that is, give or take 4 years...which, i'm not sure counts, I mean, G.W. Bush was in office... yah, I'm not gonna count them.

Newton along with with his other sci/bi-buddies and ANYONE who's smart enough to see beyond their nose ALL agree that clearly, to find when the world was going to end was simply add the 1260 years of Daniel "to the formal acquisition of the temporal power of the papacy". DUH!! I could've told them that! OBVIOUSLY!! (jeez, that's only what I've been saying for the past 400 years!)

Only thing was, not everyone agreed on the same starting date. (Drama, always getting in the way) Believing he was God's chosen one, Newton mixed his own concoction using alchemy, the book of Daniel, book Revelations and his own secret smart-guy-wiz stuff to discover 2060 was the year any partying was going to take place; exactly 1260 years after the fall of the Roman Empire. (paying attention? get the correlation? 1260?) Coincidence you ask? Once again, OBVIOUSLY it was coincidence!

If Newton's fantastic math hasn't convinced you yet, (which, would be ridiculous because it should've knocked you on the head by now--hello! Gravity!) his Godly-psychic predictions about Jews returning to the Holy Land also came true in 1948. (that's Isreal, dumba**.) Next stop-- earth's demise! He's also predicted the "the ruin of the wicked nations, the end of weeping and of all troubles". Based on that account though I'd say we have a lot to do in the next few years...Then again, Obama got sworn in today so there's magic in the air!

Once the earth is destroyed there's going to be a new heaven and earth for 1,000 years ruled by saints in pretty white robes with sparkly crest-whitened smiles that occasionally f*** alter-cherrubs for fun. Oh goody! It'll be just like earth!



http://www.buzzle.com/articles/isaac-newton-predicts-apocalypse.html
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/article-23401099-details/The+world+will+end+in+2060,+according+to+Newton/article.do